Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
