I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
