brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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