Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think your dad took our porno
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
