You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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