my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
