Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
