Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
