Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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