so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
