Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
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