I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
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I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
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There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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