do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
