I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
