my mouth tastes like poor choices
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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