Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
