I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
