Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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