It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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