His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
