i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
