Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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