90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize