SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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