Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
