You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
