well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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