how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
