So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
