im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
