I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize