it's like iHOP with fire
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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