I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
