Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
