I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
