why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
