Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
