Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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