He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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