Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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