i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
