I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That accounts for only three of the penises
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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