Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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