I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
