Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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