the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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