don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My penis needs a shock collar
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
