She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
