if i can run in heels then i can drive
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
