Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

Your godly.

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(317): View more from Indiana

In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.

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(360): View more from Washington

He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head

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(650): View more from California

Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am

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