I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
