Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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