The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
