He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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