morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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