he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how do flat chested girls get laid?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
