i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
