ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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