I love black thongs
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
