Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....

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(203): View more from Connecticut

They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.

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(631): View more from New York

only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.

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(509): View more from Washington

Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?

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(678): View more from Georgia

Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".

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