Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize