after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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